Webster’s Dictionary defines bravery as: the state of having or showing the mental or moral strength to face danger, fear or difficulty.

Bravery and the definition it encompasses hold a rare quality to embrace. I think often times we don’t give it the credit that it is worth. Bravery is often painted through our military heroes or the grandiose stories of those who conquer the peak of Mt. Everest. And don’t get me wrong, those are noteworthy and brave endeavors for sure. But to me, I admire the bravery in the “normal” people around us who have the courage to step out of the comfort zone towards finding a way to make their life better.

I referred in my last blog to Freddie, who was very brave, facing losing her life and taking a step when she could not physically see to flee the Nazis. Bravery is also found in the mom fighting cancer, who doesn’t give up when it would be so easy to be defeated. Bravery is showcased in the patient whose life was on the line and a transplant was the only option. Bravery shines in the person who needs to have limbs amputated to survive and once that takes place, she finds the courage to embrace a new normal. Bravery is found in the woman who leaves an abuser and stands up for herself when no one else will. Bravery is a decision to face fear and take charge of your life in a new way, even when the new way is unknown and scary.

I would not refer to myself as brave really. In part because I don’t like to toot my own horn. But lately I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on my journey, who I am, who I’ve become and where I want to go in life. If you know me, you know I can go deep. I very much dislike not being able to do things on my own, being told I’m wrong, and being in a place of unknown. However, I also fully understand the value of being in those places and embracing that in order to continue to rise and become the best version of me.

This week rubbed raw some old wounds from my past which I have spent much time healing from. And when that happens, I have learned to pause, to feel, to understand and to allow that to continue to change me. Healing from emotional abuse does not happen in a heartbeat. In fact, I am not sure it will ever find its place of being fully healed. Yet admittedly, sometimes because my life has taken such better turns since taking charge of myself, I “forget” how deep those wounds go. Being reminded of them is humbling… and honestly, it’s healthy. When I have to sift through buried emotions, it really helps me to continue to flourish.

Simultaneously, the background of emotional abuse has created an irritating need to try to control my journey at times, which some would title “being a perfectionist.” Let me just tell you- perfection is not real. 🙂 So in that regard, I am working on being patient with myself. The drive towards that does help me to be a stronger person, better at what I do in all areas of life; but with any strength, we must also realize that can be a weakness. So I am soaking in the humble space of learning and growth. Professionally speaking, for sure. But personally as well.

This week I was faced with confronting old fears so I can overcome them and not let them control me. The topic of emotional abuse is a hard one, and many people avoid it. It is unseen, some say it is made up. I am telling you, it is very real. But also, it’s a very vulnerable position. However, at this time of life where I am transitioning professionally, it causes me to think about many things and revisit some of these emotions… and it’s time to talk about them. Even if it’s just me writing and no one reading. In my own little way, that’s a version of being brave for myself right now.

I picked up an old notebook the other day to use and an old calendar paper which I had saved fell out. It said: stay focused on your brave decision to change your life rather than focusing on any expectations of perfection or any desires to succeed right out of the gate.

And so, I’ll just let that one sit with me for a bit… as it is rather well timed. And as I simmer on those words, I am trying to be brave by sharing my story little by little here. We are complex people in some ways. Yet we all have a story. And if could just take more time to be willing to be vulnerable AND be listeners, I can imagine how different we could be.

So as I enter this weekend thoughtfully, I ask myself how I can be more brave. And I remind myself to be patient in the process of being brave and to continue embracing in new ways the continued version of the me I want to become.